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A lawyer was cross-examining a witness.
“Isn’t it true, “he bellowed, “that you were
given $500.00 to throw this case?”
The witness did not answer.
Instead, he just
stared out the window as though he hadn’t heard the question.
The attorney repeated
himself, again getting the same reaction - no response.
Finally, the judge spoke to the witness,
“Please answer
the question.”
“Oh,” said the startled witness, “I thought he was talking to you.”
A new patient was quite upset when the doctor’s nurse led
him to a small, curtained cubicle and told him to undress. "But I only want
the doctor to look at an ingrown toenail!" he protested.
"Our rule is that everyone must undress," replied the nurse as she handed
him a very skimpy johnny.
"That’s a stupid rule," grumbled the patient, "making me undress just to
look at my toe."
"That’s nothing," growled a voice from the next cubicle. "I just came to fix
the phones!"
Man: Is this seat empty?
Woman: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.
You know you're really drunk when you
can't lie on the floor without
holding on.
Building Security has
notified us that there
have been 5 suspected terrorists working at our
office.
Four of the five have been apprehended.
Bin Sleeping, Bin
Loafing, Bin Gossiping, and Bin Surfing
have been taken into custody.
Security advised us that they could find no one
fitting the description
of the fifth cell member,
Bin Working, in the office.
Police are
confident that anyone who looks like
Bin Working will be very easy to
spot.
They thought they had apprehended
Bin Working sitting at a desk,
but it was actually Bin Surfing
trying to impersonate Bin Working.
RESPONSIBILITIES UPON YOUR DEATH:
This will be accepted as an acceptable excuse
for not being present at
meetings.
However, we require at least two weeks notice,
as it is your
duty to train your own replacement.
A Police officer
approached a Noble stopped in the middle of the road
before the river
overpass holding up traffic.
The officer noticed him jotting on a
notebook frantically.
He asked him, what in the world are you doing?
The Noble replied, "The sign says Draw Bridge".
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